The Parallel Universe... aka The Mall

I feel obliged to share my experiences from work because the things I see at the mall amaze me. I wonder many times a day, "Is this really happening? Am I really seeing this?" Here are the "Top 10 Weirdest Things I Have Noticed at the Mall":

10. A ton of people don't know what size they wear.

9. It's surprising how many people come in looking for a gift for someone else and end up buying hundreds of dollars of clothes for themselves.

8. Women shop with their friends on the weekends and spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on clothes and jewelry and then return most if not all of it during the week.

7. There are some random characters that just hang out at the mall all the time and walk around stores. The other day we had a guy come in and spray every cologne a few times and then proceeded to rub his favorite fragrance all over his face and neck.

6. A lot of customers don't realize that they are always being watched by eager sales associates. The other day I watched a man feel our fake topiary (tree) to see if it was real and then lean in and sniff it for about 10 seconds to try to come to a conclusion.

5. I walk faster through the mall than the mall walkers do. Eeeee! Daniel Fells was right... I am a Speed Walker! PS I miss you, Daniel!

4. The other day we had 3 naked manikins posing on a platform at the entrance to our store and no one said anything about it being weird or acted shocked. Don't you think that if statues of naked people with correct body parts randomly presented to the general public (including small children) it would throw someone for a loop?

3. While "greeting" at the entrance to my store I noticed that some people just plain don't treat you like a human being when you say "Hi, how are you today?"or "Bye, have a wonderful afternoon!" and flat out ignore you as if you were some sort of rude solicitor calling their house during dinner. Some even tilt their head away from you and avoid eye contact. Anyways... WAY RUDE!

2. There are a lot of people who care a lot about buying the classiest clothes, but seem to care nothing about the fact that they have such extreme B.O. that the salesperson gags when they spray down the dressing room with Febreeze after their exit. BLUHHH! I think I threw up in my mouth 2 days ago.

1. Some people have no modesty in the dressing room area. I work back there a lot, and I am always surprised how comfortable people feel opening the door to me... uh... in between outfits. You know, only in the mall would this be semi-normal to the point that I wouldn't scream, "Whoa... you aren't wearing clothes, " or "Uh uh... your flies undone, sir." I mean really... its weird to talk to a total stranger who's half-dressed or just plain in their underwear. CRAZY!